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Does Monogamy Still Exist?

Sue Willard

Written by: Sue Willard

Sue has been reading professionally since 1985, since then she has consulted thousands of national and international clients from all walks of life. This website is my passion, I hope it's a place where you can visit to find the answers you are looking for.

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Does Monogamy Still Exist?

In the process of getting to know your more intimate side, a point might be reached when considering whether monogamy is still a reachable goal. Modern times with modern lifestyles have changed the perspective for many individuals. Is there still a point in fighting for a special bond that needs too much attention according to standards these days? Keep reading if you’ve reached this point.

Routine leads to the conclusion that monogamy is a natural part of being human. This however, is not true. The small list of actual monogamous species does not include Adam and Eve. Biologically humans are natural creatures of sex. Like most other animals, reproducing is the main goal and therefore our instincts aren’t really tuned in on staying true. Although not all cultures have monogamy laws, most countries have regulations for promoting it. Being socially monogamous entails that sexual activity is reserved for your wedded partner.

The dispute surrounding which lifestyle is the best can be argued both ways, thus remaining a conscious choice you have to make for yourself. Realizing that you will be working against the nature of your species is something interesting to keep in mind. This will make it harder to follow this choice and it does require self-restraint. The depth and meaning is up to the person taking part.

If you choose to have a meaningful and healthy relationship then be prepared to give it needed attention. It’s like something that grows in your garden. Failure to take care of it will lead to a negative result.

Take some time to focus on what you want to achieve. The amount of trust being placed in someone else’s hands is a great thing, so it shouldn’t be taken for granted. This is why monogamy adds that certain dynamics in a natural relationship. Moving through different levels of life with the person you trust most in this world can be an exhilarating experience.

Be aware of temptation because there is no way of getting around it. If you’re in a long-term relationship and exclusive, then you will be staring down a barrel of a loaded gun at some stage. It’s supposed to be difficult; humans weren’t made for this reason and a lot of people fail to stick to it, making it much more special when achieved.

Men more often break the bond. Not to say that it’s easy for the ladies, but they seem to have more control in this regard. There are some things women can try to keep their man’s attention more homeward-bound. Seeing as men usually get bored easily, it wouldn’t hurt to let them know what’s waiting for them.

Be Thankful

Appreciate when your man does something for you. Make him notice how thankful you are and tell him how much you need him. It does seem similar to petting your dog or cat, but it works in the end.

Be Attentive

Listening is one thing, but actually hearing is another. This is one of the crucial factors that need to be maintained. Not processing what you hear is going to bite you in the behind someday. Take the time be attentive to detail, especially if it’s your partner.

Who needs Time?

A great way to throw a guy off his boring streak is to change his “schedule” which will score great points with lasting effect.

Just a Tease

Yes you are reading correctly, just be a tease. Dangling something a guy wants in front of him is only going to spark interest. Don’t just give it to them. Sometimes they like to work for it. Tease him with the parts he loves about you.

Keep the Spark

Don’t be shy when it comes to making love. The more often it happens the happier your man will be.

Space

It’s not healthy being around each other all the time. Some space should be set aside for both of you to grow in other aspects of life. Trust is a big part of a relationship and there needs to be a lot of it.

Be Open-minded

Find something both of you can do together or individually. It’s important that both of you enjoy it and that the goal should be reaching success together. More activity means more fun. Make it as physical as possible, but not too boring.

It’s harder to explain something to a guy when you can rather show him. Monogamy shouldn’t be a curse forced upon you by tradition and routine. It should be a privilege to receive the deepest love a person can give. Try to lead as an example. Prove to him that monogamy is a precious and beautiful thing. There is no way to explain the great feeling, so let him feel it for himself.

Don’t forget that there are many benefits by having a sexual and social monogamous relationship. Never lose sight of what you want to achieve and find the person that respects it. If the guy doesn’t feel the same way then no amount of work can save the relationship. Pay more attention to those who have the same values. The beauty of it all; monogamy remains a choice. You decide the value, not your peers. Being forced into a lifestyle can only end sadly. Luckily you have a choice.

Hype and media frenzies will never stop pushing the boundaries of a secure relationship. Sex and temptation will always be around everybody, its nature. Accepting a vow that combines two people for life is serious, and so it should be treated with respect. Notice that the moment something special is shared by everyone; it isn’t really that special any more. There is no “right or wrong” and “good or bad”, simply choices. It’s up to you to choose whether you want something unique and precious, or share it with the rest.

No-one said it would be easy, but no-one said it would be this hard. Sheryl Crow has a nice way of saying that constant attention and maintenance is the key for successful monogamous marriages. The rest is up to you and how you approach it.

Posted:
06/11/2013
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