If you’re single and looking for Mr or Mrs Right, or if you’ve recently suffered the breakdown of a relationship, you’ve probably thought about a love spell at some point. Not all that long ago, there were dozens of people selling love spell services on Ebay, before the online auction giant banned spell casting services last summer. A quick google, however, reveals that there are still many places where you can either buy a love spell kit, or buy the services of a spell caster who will claim to conjure up your ideal lover, or bring your ex-lover back to you.
But are love spells ethical? And do they even work?
Many magical traditions hold that love spells should never be performed, because it is not right to interfere with the free will of someone else. This is a fundamental ethical no-no for Wiccans, and many others. However, other magical paths, including Hoodoo, have fewer or no qualms about such matters. Ultimately, it comes down to one’s personal code of ethics. You might believe that you’re not harming someone else by casting a love spell over them – after all, they’ll be better off with you, no? – but is that really your decision to make?
Fortunately, there are many ways in which anyone can safely perform love magic or love rituals, without the risk of harming anyone else, or interfering with free will. The key is not to focus on the other person, but to focus on yourself. We can’t attract love into our lives unless we love ourselves, first and foremost, so spells designed to help with your own self-esteem or confidence are a very good start. Magic is all about changing the current reality by using the power of your intent, your higher consciousness and the natural elements around you. Simple love rituals can take the form of inviting love into your life, as opposed to trying to make a specific person love you. Through using candle magic, visualisation, cosmic ordering or a variety of other techniques, you can also change your circumstances to make it more likely that someone amazing will enter your life – even if it’s as simple as improving your social life so that what begins as a friendship may eventually turn into something more.
If you are heartbroken following a relationship breakup, it’s better to use love magic as a way of healing your hurt and helping you move forwards, rather than in an attempt to get your lover to come back to you. For relationships which are still intact but rocky, it’s fine to work a love ritual designed to heal the relationship, with your partner’s consent – the important thing is that most people find it unethical to work magic which would affect someone else without the knowledge or consent of the other party. If you don’t have or don’t want to get your partner’s consent, why not work instead on ways in which you can heal your own contribution to the relationship, and boost your inner strength to cope with what may or may not come?
When it comes to whether love spells work or not, it’s important to be realistic about your expectations. The best love rituals certainly do work, but rather than forcing a tall, dark, handsome stranger to knock on your door before tea time tomorrow, they work subtly and over the longer term, increasing your positivity and your openness to romance. True love cannot be manufactured or created out of nothing by any spell or magical procedure, but a brighter and more love-filled future can certainly be yours to create – and we’ll look at some simple love spells and rituals you can try in future posts.